How to Talk to Your Parents About Care Without Causing Conflict

Today Care
Jul 19, 2025
2 min read

Smiling daughter talking to her elderly parent about care at home

It’s one of the hardest conversations to start and one of the most important. You’ve noticed things are changing. Maybe your mum is forgetting her medication. Your dad is struggling with mobility. You’re worried, but every time you bring it up, they brush it off.

At Today Care, we speak with many families who feel stuck. They want to help, but don’t know where to begin. If you’re in this situation, you’re not alone.

This guide will help you understand how to talk to elderly parents about home care in a gentle, respectful way.

Choose the Right Moment

Avoid raising the topic when your parent is tired or frustrated. Instead, find a calm moment during a visit, after a meal, or while you are having a cup of tea.

Remember, this is just the start of a conversation not a decision to be made immediately.

Speak from the Heart, Not From Frustration

Use “I” statements like:“I’ve noticed you’re more tired lately, and I worry about you doing everything alone.”

Avoid:“You can’t cope on your own anymore.”

This keeps the tone soft and respectful

Start Small

Suggest one small step, like:“What if someone popped in once a week to help with the shopping?”

Once they see the benefit of a little help, they’re often more open to future support.

Focus on What Matters to Them

Frame care as a way to stay independent, not lose it. “Having help might give you more energy for your hobbies.” “ It could help you stay in your home longer.”

Involve a Trusted Third Party

Sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else. A GP, nurse, or friendly care provider can ease the conversation.

At Today Care, we are happy to chat informally with families or the person needing care no commitment, just guidance.

What if my parent refuses help?

This is common. Be patient and listen. You can suggest a short trial visit or introduce the idea again later.

How do I know it’s time to talk about care?

Some signs include:

Missed meals or medications
More forgetfulness
Household tasks being neglected
Recent falls or increased frailty

Will carers take over everything?

No. Our role is to support, not take over. We work with each person to build confidence, not dependence.

A Real Story from a Local Family

A daughter in Thornbury contacted us after her mum’s fall. Her mum didn’t want “strangers in the house.” We arranged a short friendly visit no pressure.

Now, her mum has weekly care and even attends local coffee mornings with support. It all started with one gentle conversation.